polaroids.

it's not often that I think about you and I
or what we could've been
but today I fell into a couple polaroids of us
and I've been wondering
if I've missed you. the answer isn't a yes
but the answer isn't a no.
and while I don't resemble you all that much anymore
we've shared the same old name and the same darn body for a while
so I think you deserve to know
that you were the happiest I had been for the longest time;
I often wonder if I did the right thing by saying goodbye.
our voice and skin and limbs and smile
have always felt more so like yours than they have mine.
and I don't know how many more miles it takes to get home
how many more times I have to shave off my hair and wait, yet again, for it to grow
how many labels I need to try out till my brain and body stop feeling unknown
but I promise to keep taking these steps as long as I have it in me
to keep going, even on the days when my feet crack and bleed;
even when the journey feels bleak, I owe it to you to go on
to walk this path till I reach
till I get to knock at the doorstep of future me
and I've been wondering- that when I do
maybe I could show them these polaroids of you.