sunset.

and when the sun leaves
it aches
you always wish that the way he pulls himself away
when you try to grasp onto him
isn't the last of his touch on your fingertips
your mind doesn't want to recognize the patterns that it does
the history with it all
but he leaves, and leaves behind this darkness
this numbness
you could almost swear you're insane-
having him soaked into your skin just hours ago
(a lingering taste of him still on your lips)
but the warmth is replaced by something frighteningly cold.

your heart trembles in fear
and you want to run
you want to close your eyes to the sunset
because you don't wanna be the one to say goodbye
and maybe it isn't a farewell
but you're afraid
afraid, because if it's happened once,
it's bound to happen again.

you turn away when he pours in through your window the next morning
you don't want his embrace because you're terrified
that one day you'll be dependent on it and when,
when he isn't there on those cold 2am's,
and the memory of his embrace starts to fade
you know you'll be screaming through your empty lungs
with only soaked pillow covers that know the story behind your tired eyes.

good things have always been out of your reach
so you've decided that you don't need them
what's one more to the list of a million things?
(it's why you shut yourself when the sun shines
although he wishes you didn't)