sucker punch

I've been standing right here, behind this wall
watching you knock out your punching bag
the one with my face plastered on
every hit a bit harder than the one before
it shatters my ribs a little more each time
and as I keep watching,
I wonder if I'd rather not be here, not know
that you're thinking of me each time you aim,
it's a devastating sight
but my eyes can't pluck away,
your knuckles have begun to leave bruises that whisper your name
and I'm learning to keep them from you
I'm learning new lies
I'm learning a smile that could mask my scars.
I'm learning
how to keep a secret from myself, and
if I was meant to be unaware of these wars,
that is how I will be
I will hide these wounds
this pain, this rage
it's all yours, only yours, and I
I'm just a body.
I'm just nobody.
rip me to shreds
until there's nothing left,
my eyes are closed,
I'll pretend it doesn't bleed.
my feeble resolve is stronger than my worn out bones
and you're the only one that gets to break me.
and as you take me apart
I'll keep learning to hide these blows
even if it means that I have to wrap my body
with bandages I can't afford,
even if it means I'll have to keep smiling
with a bleeding nose.